So, it's a happy cry, right?

Picking up Jonah from the last day of his second week of school had me tearing up. His enthusiastic voice and contageous smile were enough to bring on the rain, but that yellow folder grasped by his precious little hand, held the ingredients for my downpour!

Last Friday when I opened his yellow folder I was greeted by a cheerful note filling us parents in on the happenings of the week and introducing the new student, Joe. My little Joe. This had me bawling before I finished the note, and although I expected tears, I did not expect the amount that came!

Then, as if last week wasn't enough, I opened the yellow folder today and read about how the students listened to the stories The Kissing Hand and The Giving Tree, and then I got to see his beautiful art related to the stories. If you have a student and you don't know about The Kissing Hand, then you better get to the library and get yourself an education!

Also in his folder this week was a note about the happenings and an overview of how the student-led conferences are going to go next week. Us parents are asked to write a 'sweet letter' to our children, telling them how proud we are and how much we love them, etc. OMGoodness!! Seriously?! Are they trying to make all the parents cry like babies so our babies, who are growing fast enough as it is, feel like they are even bigger?!

I'm totally on to the school systems... They do not put the kids in school at age 5 because this is when they are old enough to handle the routine of school and being away from their parents,(because let's face it, they can't. They only 'pretend' they do because that is what 5 yr olds love doing; pretending.) They actually put them in at age 5 so the parents can get their crying under control before the kids develope a sence of embarrassment from the parent's affection and adoration. They do it for us! Could you just see the mess we would be if our 'babies' didn't start school until 10 or 11 yrs old?! And how much crying would happen then, if when they saw us after school, standing eagerly at our 'pick-up spots', they shunned us out of embarrassment becasue of our adoration?! Clearly the school systems enroll at age 5 to help train us parents so when the time comes that we are no longer cool in the eyes of our children, we can still pick them up from school, with our dignity in tact and our emotions under control, or severe lockdown in my case. Until then, I shall let the tears flow when I fancy a good cry because of the amazing person my baby is growing to be!

So, I read his note, looked over his work, and cried. A nice quiet, controlled cry. Joe was busy visiting with Sissy and Sammo, so he didn't notice. Good. I wiped the few tears that had managed to make their way onto my cheeks, pulled out of my parking space, and drove off. 2.3 minutes down the road I was thinking about what I had read and lost it. I was crying bawling, (it was a downpour) and had to get control of myself. A sweet soft voice from the backseat broke my cry-fest with a simple honest question.
"Mom, why are you crying?"
Because I'm so proud of you, my sweet-pea-pie-boy-face!
"So, it's a happy cry, right? Not a sad cry or a mad cry?"
Yes, a happy cry!
"Oh, good."

Wow! Starting, once again!

I want to write more consistently and really make this blog a place to hold those daily memories that I treasure so and don't want to let go. (Or rather, lose, because that is what really happens when days trun into weeks turn into months, years, decades...)

My Sissy-Bear-Lovey-Pie-Sugar-Muffin-Angel-Crumb-Cake (Apple, for short)was born Aug 19th!! She is absolutely perfect and the most wonderful gift!! I love her! Although, who deosn't, really?? Her birth was both amazingly beautiful and terribly painful. Incredible. And I NEVER want to do it again. EVER.

Two weeks after her birth I began homeschooling Jonah with the help of the Idaho Virtual Academy! I loved it! For about three of the thirty-two days that we did it. We tried everything. And I do mean EVERYTHING. The kid hated it! And it surely didn't help that the school buses picked up and dropped off kids, right in FRONT of our house, more than four times a day. Yes, four! He begged me to go to 'real school' and to ride on the bus. He begged me every time he saw a bus. Four. Times. A. Day. Ugh!

November 1st Jonah began attending the Garden City Community Charter School!!! Yaaay!!! Yay for him, yay for me, yay for all of our family!!! He is happy as can be and jumpped right in like he never even missed a beat! His teacher is AMAZING and if I could get away with wrapping my arms around her and bawling like a baby, I so would! Our Papa totally has set this up and I'm sooo thankful!!

Today was my first day of volunteering as the class-mom and I loved it! It was sooooooo much better than being the home-teacher! Haha!

I'm in the process of starting my own Priemer Jewelry business!! Sooooo VERY exciting!! I am thrilled to be able to do this!! I know, I know... Some of you, rightfully so, are probably thinking, "What is she thinking? She has done started businesses in the past and then stopped. What makes this one any different?" Well, there are LOTS of differences and when I have time to post those, I will!

For now, I'm off to concure the homestead...

A community of people, not a society of individuals!

May 30th and it's just now feeling like Spring has come to stay! Maybe all the May showers we've had will bring lots of June flowers!! The boys are eating Popsicles and the birds are harmonizing with the soothing sounds of the sprinklers outside. The ice cream cart music that rings through nearby neighborhoods is the sound of childhood happiness to all the young ears it falls upon. I'm enjoying the quiet as I write random pieces of writing that I will later try to fit into a collection of some sort.

I have been on partial bed rest(pbr) for seven weeks now. I began having contractions on April 12th, at 20 weeks, 6 days gestation. I rested for a week then began taking Nifedepine(Nif) in combination with the pbr at the recommendation of my midwife. I've been on the Nif for six weeks now. Being busy as a bee and social as a butterfly has made this resting period quite a tough trial of many things, patience and faith being the strongest of them.

I really began to get scared when the contractions, which were more painful than my labor contractions with my first two pregnancies, continued even after the extensive amount of rest and medication. As we approached 23 weeks I really began to get worried because just a little over a year ago my friend had gone into labor and had her little guy at 24 weeks, 3 days gestation. We watched him grow through photographs and journal entries from his parents, on the CaringBridge website. We, a community of people brought together because of this precious babe, prayed for the 110 days he spent in the NICU and continue to pray for him even today. Watching my friends go through this incredibly tough experience such a short time ago, still rings loudly in my heart. I've prayed for protection, wholeness, perfect health, and full term birth for Jeweliana, more strongly than what I would have had I not watched my friends' trial so closely. My birthday, May 6th, was an interesting day of emotions. It was on this day that I was 24 weeks, 3 days gestation.

On my birthday I wanted to shower by myself, and make myself look like a woman again. As all of you women reading know, a girl can lose her woman-ness when she can't shower and beautify herself. Imagine not being able to do these things not only because of feeling 'blah' and sleeping in, or because your bloated and don't care, but because you can't. I fell apart while I was alone in the living room on the couch, while my hub was in the kitchen making breakfast. (I didn't want him to know how badly I was affected by the situation and how sorry I was feeling for myself. On one hand I was truly grateful that here I was, not in labor, in the exact day of pregnancy the my friend had her son, 110 early. But the negatives really stood out because I 'felt' fine. I didn't feel sick, nor was I having hard contractions. It wasn't until I stood and walked, for any reason, that I 'felt' like anything was wrong. And because I hurt when I walked I rested much more than what pbr required.) I sobbed into my pillow until it was salty with tears, then I collected myself and embraced the reality that I was not going to get to do the things for my birthday that I had hoped. (Shower, dress up, go for a beautiful evening walk at the train depot with my handsome groom...) After crying about 'poor me' I focused on how things could be a LOT worse. My birthday turned out to be nice that evening. My hub shampooed my hair, polished my toes with my new bday polish, and loved me in such a beautiful unconditional way! He didn't 'love' me because I was beautiful or had something to offer him, he simply 'loved' me because that is what he does. He loves me!

This has been the most humbling of experiences that I've ever had to endure, for sure. I've had to have my hub lift me out of four baths in one day because the HOTT water was the only thing that could soothe my pain and I was incapable of getting out of the tub myself. I've had to go to the salon just to have my hair shampooed. I've had to have my mom help me shower when my hub was on business trips. I've had to have help cleaning my house. I've had to have a babysitter for myself almost constantly since this began. I've not made a meal in seven weeks. I've done less than a weeks worth of laundry over the last seven. I haven't been able to drive myself anywhere. I couldn't stand the though of using the wheelchair shopping carts at grocery stores. This is just a peek into what I've been going through to lean humility. I finally hit the reality wall when I had to ask my 18 yr old sister to 'help' me get in and out of the bath at my mom's because I was in so much pain that I had to get in the HOTT water. My 60 yr old grandmother lives with my mom and she has a shower chair that she used after a recent surgery. I used it to wash my own hair... it helped a lot. I was in only a moderate amount of pain when I got out of the shower. She offered to let me barrow it because she has been able to stand and shower for weeks. It's been nice. Then I finally got the nerve to try her wheelchair. She let me barrow it the day I called and I still have it. It has made things so much easier to deal with. I can go on walks with my family again! I can go to the store with my hub! I am at the library a couple times a week, again! I no longer sit in my house depressed that I cannot go on walks, or go places that my family goes.

Through this tough time I've had to suck up my pride and 'enjoy the ride'. It's not been easy, but it sure has been a lesson worth learning. The Lord created us to be a community of people, not a society of individuals, and going through this has helped me to see the prideful way that I was living as though I needed no one.

Thank You Dear Papa, for Your love and grace through this time of having to force me to rest. You have always been so gentle and loving with me, even in my most trying period of motherhood. I love You, Daddy, and love the way You love me! Amen! Amen! Amen!!!

DADDY GAVE US A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's true! It's true!! The Lord answered my prayers of "Daddy, please pleeeeaaaaase give me a giiirrrrllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" We are having a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, Lord and Daddy for Your overwhelming love and favor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You make me dance and dance and dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sooooooooooo glad I'm Yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Familiar, yet oddly unfamiliar!

Reno was a quick trip, as well as SLC. We are nearly home from SLC, and the rather odd thing is that we are popping in to do some laundry and sleep for the night, then headed to Spokane in the a m... Going home is full of familiarities; the sights, sounds of cheering boys, smell of pumpkin candles, and yet this trip home feels so odd! We often pull up somewhere, stay for the night, then head out in the morning for our destination during trips to the different shows we work, but never have we pulled into our driveway with the expectancy to only sleep and then leave in the morning! It's a familiar, yet oddly unfamiliar feeling for sure!!

Happy night!!

FIVE GIRL DREAMS!!!!!!!

I had my FIFTH girl dream last night!!!

I walked into an outdoor kitchen where there were lots of family and friends, then asked, "Where's my baby?" Someone handed her to me and as I held her in my right arm, I walked over to my mom sitting and a barstool, and said "It's my little girl!!"

It was very realistic and vivid! My little girl had a slightly squarish chin with a full head of sparce hair that was much lighter than my boys' and it hung about an inch below her neckline. Her eyes were about the color of Sam's... not quite blue, yet not quite green either! She was 4-6 moths old! I could see my mom's regrowth(roots) and I even thought to myself in my dream, "I need to color my mom's hair!"

We have our ultrasound in THREE WEEKS!!!!!!

Playing Catch-Up!!

I'm terrible at this blogging thing!! Here it is... March 2010, and we've gone through two whole seasons since I last posted anything! Ridiculous!

So, I'm in Reno (which is only a hop, skip, and a jump from SPARKS, Nevada)until Monday. Monday we head to Salt Lake, where we will be for a little over a week. We are still traveling heavily as I had shared before.

We spent autumn in several places and it flew by as quickly as the leaves fall off the big tree in my husband's parent's front yard! (They have a huge tree in their front yard that drops all of it's leaves on one day! It's amazing! I have never seen anything like it before! So each year we get together the day after the leaves fall, for a day of leaf fun and have dinner after we fill about 22 large leaf bags completely full of the leaves!!! Their yard is quite small and when their tree decides to undress for the winter, their yard, their neighbor's yard on the west side of them, and half of the street in front of both houses is blanketed with leaves! That ground never even gets that much snow!! It's a Sparks' holiday all in it's own!!!)

We flew south for the winter...well, drove! We hit the road for Scottsdale, Az on the 17th of Nov. As you probably remember, swine flu was a huge hit during this winter. Our car show that we worked in Scottsdale was three days long, and horrible, financially speaking! The first day it was raining and all the locals stayed home. The second day the mayor had issued a statewide quarantine(ok, so I may be exaggerating a bit), and suggested that everyone stay home, indoors to prevent any more spreading of the piggy flu. So, most, being good citizens, followed suit and stayed inside. On the third sunny, beautiful day, the mayor took back what he had said, stating that the pig flu was apparently not as deadly as they had all thought and said that it was fine to go outside and enjoy! Phoenix, also a hop, skip, and a jump away, held their annual(I think)Cardinal appreciation merchandise sale thingy. So, turns out the Scottsdale car show sucked this year!

After Scottsdale we headed to Tucson to visit Steve's cousin, Jody, and some extended family! We shared Thanksgiving with them, and it was a lot of fun! We both feel blessed to be able to go visit during such a 'family' time of year!! We met Jody's parents, Grandmother, and aunt! Shared food and laughs, and his aunt even gave me one of her four week old puppies!! Sooooo cute! I began the NaNoWriMo contest the 1st of Nov, and finished with 50,166 words while we were staying at Jody's! He has been such a great host, both times that we stayed with him! He welcomes us in with completely open arms, making us feel that his home was ours while we are there!! It was incredibly nice and it really helped me to reach my goal of 50,000 words by the 30th!!! We will be joining him again this year, and I will not be NaNoing, so it should be even more fun!!

December was very interesting! We left Jody's on the 1st and went to Vegas for a two week Christmas show. Blessed by the Lord, none of my traveling family had been hit by the swine flu! Late Dec 1st I began feeling a bit under the weather. By Dec 2nd I was surely sick. I felt incredibly weak, had a terrible headache, nothing tasted good, I nearly passed out(from low blood sugar, I learned later), threw up eight times, and climbed into the hot bath with my clothes still on. Something was surely wrong! I however, had no fever, and everyone who had the swine flu had fevers. Maybe just the people flu. *shrug*

I was sick the entire rest of the Vegas trip, and still sick when I returned home. I had motion sickness while just lying on the couch! The motion sickness got so bad that sounds began to make me nauseous and this intense sicknesses lasted for over two weeks! During that two weeks we discovered that we were expecting another baby and that is what was causing the unbearable sickness!!! A precious little bundle!!

So now here I am, moving into my second trimester and things are sooooo much better! I'm mostly great, however I need to wear my motion sickness bracelets while riding in any vehicle. We are having our ultrasound on the 1st of April!!! I am soooo excited!! I want a girl soooooo bad!!! I think this one is a girl, because of a number of different things! Here is my list:

1.Sick! I wasn't sick with my boys!! And sick three days after conception!! Amazing!!
2.The many dreams surrounding my pregnancies!
a.Five girl dreams with my first boy. Then two boy dreams. The girl dreams were fuzzy pink floating dresses much too far away for me to touch. The boy dreams were crystal clear full color boy dreams that were undeniably from the Lord!
b.I've had four girl dreams with this pregnancy, thus far, and my friend of 15 years had a girl dream about me as well!
b1.I took the at home gender test and the results were yellow. When I woke from my dream I called my sister who had actually done the gender test and I asked her if there was a color chart and what the colors meant. She is having a boy and her test turned out green. She hadn't shared with me the girl color until after I had called her to ask. Yellow! Yellow means GIRL!!!
b2.We were half way through the pregnancy and were told that I had to deliver her so they could do some sort of procedure on her and then put her back in me to finish growing to term. I delivered her and Steve and I were walking through the hall, Steve holding her belly up in his left palm.(After sharing all of this with a trusted friend, she said that maybe possibly the girl dreams from my first pregnancy could have been prophetic dreams from the Lord and that the current dreams could be the Lord warning me about a possible problem with the development of the baby. She shared two personal stories of the same matter with me about her family, and encouraged me to pray. So we are praying!)
b3.My friend of 15 years sent me a text one day, not too long after these dreams, saying that she had had a dream about me. When I responded with question she replied with, "I dreamt that you were doing a craft project with your daughter!"
b4.A couple weeks after this, I dreamt that my mom-in-law had dreamt about my daughter, her granddaughter!
b5.Last night I dreamt of a girl, and when I woke this morning all that remained was the blissful feeling that I was being blessed with a daughter!! I however, cannot recall the dream!
3.I've been freeeezing this whole pregnancy!!! The moment I was pregnant with the boys I was sooooo hott!!!
4.The ovulation cycle and conception date are favoring a girl!
5.I've never been so ugly, nor had such a hormone problem!!!! I've always struggled with acne, but 54 pimples on my face at ONE TIME is definitely a record for me!!!
6.With both of the boys I had just a couple food aversions. This baby is sicken by EVERYTHING but ketchup and ranch! Ewww! I have hated both ever since high school, and I love them now!! Gross!!!!! Even ice cream makes this kid sick!!! :(
7.With both of the boys I had a terribly stinky overactive right underarm!!! My left never stunk and you could smell my right three blocks away! With this baby I've not smelled bad once! I just look baaaad!!!!
8.Also with both of the boys I had to shave nearly every day, otherwise my husband questioned where his leg ended and mine began when sleeping in the middle of the night! With this baby I shave about once every other week!!!

We get to find out the gender on April 1st!!! Stay tuned!!

To catch you up on the writing...
I'm planning on writing the ending to my NaNo novel this month, proofing and revising next month, and I do not know what a reasonable goal is for publishing, but I'll keep you posted!
I'm still planning on publishing my first children's book and having it available for purchase by May, 6th!!
For more on the writing please go to gracefullybroken.com where I have lots of info to keep you updated!!

Happy March!!

~Ruthilyn